That was Sunday morning and it was raining outside. I woke up early in the morning at 6:30, and looked the weather outside. It was very cool, and wet weather. Rain drops were showering everywhere. Rain was looked in the mood of playing test match that day. Clouds were batting like Rahul Dravid with an average run rate but consistent, and continuous. My lazy attitude told me to lie down on bed again, but heart was already planned for something exciting. I wore my T-shirt, and moved outside to enjoy morning walk in the rainy day.
After a walk on municipal corporation park, I went to the shop where various newspapers were purchased. The lady operated that shop, picked Times of India and gave to me. I took the paper, and gave her four rupees. It was rain outside, and I didn’t have carry bag to protect newspaper. I asked lady shop keeper for a polythene. She thought for a while, and tried to find polythene in her shop. After looking here and there for a while, she said “No polythene is available here.” It was clearly noticed from her gestures, that she tried to look a polythene, just to show me that she really want to help me but, there is no option available . “Why don’t you put it inside your T-shirt, it’s not looks too wet “She told me while selling newspaper to another customer. I felt a bit disappointed there; Apart from newspaper, she was also selling vegetables there, so it was sure that she has some polythene available, but she was not giving me. Second thing is that I purchase newspaper daily from there, and I was expecting that she will give me polythene easily. So it really hurts when you expect something from other and, it’s not fulfilled.
Finally I put newspaper under my t-shirt, and ready to move from there. Suddenly that lady went inside the shop, brought a polythene. “Hundreds of newspaper, I sell daily; if I will give polythene to everyone than hundreds of polythene will goes without making any profit” She smiled and said, while giving polythene to me. I was happy at last that now paper would not get wet and, other important thing my expectation as a regular customer has completed.
While moving toward home, I realized that the lady was in dilemma at the moment. By heart, she was realizing the fact that it was heavy rain outside, and I am also completely wet; Paper will be no worth for me, if she doesn’t give a carry bag. She was also realizing that, I bought a newspaper daily from her so, as a regular customer, she should help me. But her business mind was blocking her to help me. Mind was consistently saying her that, she should not provide polythene that, costs about 30-40 paisa, to a customer who bought thing of only two rupees. And second thing, it was set a wrong tradition also, if she will give polythene to me than other customer also start asking for carry bag. If she start providing carry bag with every newspaper, than her profit on each newspaper will be reduced. Her job is to get money from customer, and hand over their commodity; after that how customer manages to take their commodity to home, it’s totally their responsibility.
After such argument between heart and mind, she finally listens to heart and gave me a carry bag. Her business mind was defeated from her delighted heart. It’s a small incident but happened with me also several times. Situation comes to me where my heart says to do something but mind stops it. And I goes to dilemma whom to listen a beautiful heart or intelligent mind. Mind in the head, always think logically; its arguments are based on facts and figures. But heart inside soul, always thinks emotionally. It keeps emotional attachment and feelings ahead of any acquisitive or materialistic gain. Its instincts are purely based on feelings rather than facts and figures.
Whenever we listen to mind and, take a decision than most of the times, we are in gain situation. Everyone around us feels that we took a good decision. We may or may not feel well after that decision but, in materialistic prospective, we always make profit.
Whenever we listen to heart and, take a decision than most of the time we are in loss situation at the moment. Most of the person around us criticizes our decision. We may feel good and satisfied after such decision, but in materialistic prospective, we are in loss situation.
I personally believe that when we listen to heart, we may in the loss situation at the moment but, it shows correct path on long term basis. Like in my case, if that lady didn’t give polythene to me than, I could start purchasing newspaper from other shop next day. If any friend comes to me, and asking about newspaper shop, I might not referred her .If she needs my help in future for any reason, I might not helped her. You may laugh on this argument but, it’s true, we can’t say when we need help of any person in lifetime. And if she wouldn’t need my help in lifetime than also, one thing she will surely lost, and that is the smile and good will, established between us.
Profit and losses may be very less in this incident, but we face such arguments of heart, and mind many times in our life. And, it’s up to us whom we listen at that moment. I have very sweet memories of an incident, when I listen to heart, and made a huge profit, that can’t be measured by any business analyst. It was the first semester of my college. We were in the electronics lab, and waiting for viva. Our professor called three students at a time for viva, alphabetically. I was in the second batch, so my viva had completed very early as compare to other. I packed my bag, and ready to leave college after the viva, because same day I had to catch afternoon train to reach my hometown. I was very happy that I am going to my home after such hectic schedules of viva and practical. Suddenly one boy of my class came to me, and asked me for my computer programming file. I didn’t talk with this boy earlier. I told him that right now I don’t have it; we had to go at my room for it. He told me that, if possible wait for some time, so that his viva will be completed, after that he will come to my room with me, and collect the required file. I told him that, it’s not possible, because I have to catch afternoon train. He told me, that he was in seventh batch, and viva will be completed before train time. He also told me, that he will drop me at station also. He also mentioned, that due to fever he were not attended some practical, and now he need someone’s file to complete that missing practical. I thought, if I stay here for some time to give him file, than I will reach at station on exact time. But after his argument, I don’t know what happened to me and I just said ‘OK’ to him. I also thought that if he will be dropping me at railway station on his bike that it saved my time also; otherwise I had to wait for local bus and need to change the bus twice on the way to station. Finally I waited till seventh batch. But one more tragedy happened in between. After the viva of sixth batch, professor took lunch break, and viva of next batch was started after an hour. I felt very disappointed, because now it was sure, that I will miss the afternoon train. I was very disappointed with myself, and my decision on that day. After the viva of seventh batch, we went to my room and I gave him required file. He felt very guilty and said ‘sorry’ for missing train and ‘thanks’ for help, many times to me. I went to my hometown by the train in night on same day. After this incident, I found he many time came to me and helped me whenever I was in trouble. Initially I was not expecting this behaviour from him, but he helped me without waiting for me to ask him for help. Slowly we became good friends, and today after leaving college also our friendship continues.
Frankly speaking, I was very disappointed and upset on that viva day for waiting him. I had regretted my decision several times throughout the day. But today, when I am looking back, I felt that may be I reached to home early on that day if I didn’t wait him, but I surely missed one friend for lifetime; I proud of my decision . This is the incident, when I listen to heart, missed the train, reached to hometown late, but earned very precious friend for whole life.
You might be thinking that, I am opposing the mind in my article but, it’s not the thing. Our mind always helps us to achieve goal safely and, efficiently. If we always listen to heart in life, than there are huge chances that we may deviate from our path. Second thing, if we always listen to heart than, we will get very emotional, and it will difficult for us to control emotions. We will always be in dreams and, never realized the complexities of situations. Listening heart every time, leads us to too optimism and, we never find realistic approach. I strongly believe that when we have to select a path, let listen to heart, but when it comes to follow that path, let mind do that. Funda is very clear here, listen to your heart, when it comes to “What to do”, but use your mind when it comes to “How to do”. Like in lady shopkeeper incident, she has to decide by heart this thing – “Help to me or not”, but use her brain when it comes to “how to help.” She has to use her intellectual to help me, like she may give wastage polythene to me, so that it doesn’t cost anything to her. She should give me polythene, when there are no other customers in shop, so that it doesn’t set a wrong tradition. She must use her mind to find some alternative approach, that worked for me and, simultaneously it doesn’t hamper her business. In my college incident also, I have to decide by heart one thing – “help to that boy or not”, but use my brain when it comes to “how to help.” (But unfortunately one tragedy of lunch break happened in between, and all my plans to reach station were spoiled L……………however, result of that tragedy was very fruitful……J). This trick works in almost every situation; Select task as per your like/dislike but use your brain to complete that task systematically and efficiently. And believe me, if you want anything full hearten than your brain will start working automatically to achieve that.
Its hundred percent true that our heart always shows us correct path; but listening to heart is not the easy thing always. Like in my case, I go for helping my friend, and get into trouble. This is a very small incident, and its impacts are not very hard, but listen to heart in decisions like career, relationship and personnel life impacts our whole life. We have to face many challenges, when we listen to heart and, decide a path; like these two –
Internal fear – It’s very sure that, we will be in materialistic loss at the moment, most of the time, whenever we listen to heart. Various fears will be generated related with loss, insecurities, future and new challenges. We have to win our own fears first, before taking a decision.
External fear – Be ready to face all type of comment about your decision from public. Your friend, family members, neighbours, colleagues, hi-hello friends, relatives will comment on decision. These comments may or may not favour our decision. There are great chances that we get very harsh criticism also from the public. Prepare yourself for these public comments in democratic environment of our country.
Here mind plays its role. We have to use our mind to win from these fears and opinions. There are some tricks that I used and found very effective-
- Before taking a decision, try to make plan that lead us to the destination safely and efficiently. Think about all the aspects of our decision. Make plan to face challenges; Make plan to overcome our insecurities and fears. If we don’t get any plan at the moment, or we postponed some actions for future, than be mentally prepare to face such situation. A wise man very well said on this “Plan for the best but be ready for worst.”
- Believe yourself, and be confidant on your decision. Always think that you have taken right decision. Don’t doubt yourself and your capability, after taking a decision. A wise man said beautifully on it “Rather than taking a right decision, let take a decision, and make it right.”
- Always think that you can do it; it automatically boosts your confidence and protect from negative thought generation.
- Don’t create any negative thinking or pre-assumptions in mind. Whenever a negative thought generated in mind, take it positively, think for a solution of it, rather than scaring about it. Believe me, there is no problem that can’t be solved, just use your mind to solve it.
If we overcome our own fear, than it’s very easy to overcome second factor (लोग क्या कहेंगे ………..). If we are confident about our decision, than it’s very easy to handle public comments. Best way to handle it is, discuss with parents, friends or family members (basically our trust circle) about decision. We should talk to the people whom we trust, and whom we think are capable to give right advice. One more thing, explain them everything; our plans; what is the basic idea behind this decision; what will be our goals; how we achieve them. It also gives a chance to us for retrospection. It may possible that they may reject our decision at first glance, but I am sure, if we explain everything (plan, goals and strategy) than they must be agreeing with us. And if they still not agree with us, than don’t be upset; there must be something that we are missing; this is the time to think for that; may be their disagreement comments give us pointer at where exactly we are missing. Find out those gaps and prepare strategy for gaps, and again go in front of them. This time they must be agree with you, and these whole processes increase our faith on our own decision. If our trust circle has belief on us, and have confidence on our decision, than don’t think about others. Now we have enough confidence to face all public comments. Apart from our trust circle, usually there are three type of person exist in this world who give suggestion to us –
No. 1 –These are our good friends and well-wishers. We didn’t take advice from them before taking a decision, so these people come to us, and comment on our decision, because they really cared about us. Always listen to their comments carefully. They might warn us about some further challenges, or may appreciate our decision. Take those points sincerely. They may give some valuable suggestions/ points to us. Most of the times, we already worked or planned for points mentioned by them. If not then, work for the points that they mentioned, and tried to resolve their worries.
No.2 – These are just our hi-hello friends. They are not really very cared about us. They just meet us, and mentioned their opinion. Their opinion may or may not in our favour. Neglect their opinion until and unless they mentioned very good point that we missed.
No. 3 – We may face very harsh criticism from some persons. Some may try to de-motivate us and force to change the decision. Some may laugh on us for such decision. Avoid to meet such person, once we took the decision. And still if they meet somewhere, don’t say anything to them. Just listen to them and neglect it. There is one trick that I used to protect me from such comments; Repeat this famous dialogue in your heart, whenever people making fun of your decision “मिलेगा …………… करारा जवाब मिलेगा ……………” (Just wait for right timeJ)
I talked very much about how to use mind to follow our decision, and achieve goals. But believe me, you will follow these steps automatically, and resolve all things automatically, if you take a decision with full hearten. Always believe in yourself and your decision. Live your life on your own way, and in your own unique style. Just listen to your heart, what it wants, and use mind nicely to achieve that.
Same day after the lady shopkeeper incident, I reached home and opened the newspaper; I saw add of Infosys in newspaper; they mentioned a very beautiful line about their company “Inspired by technology, driven by values”. I thought for a while, smiled and said to myself “inspired by heart, driven by mind”. Isn’t it right………………….?