इंजीनियर दिवस


एक इंजीनियर देश के किसी काम का नहीं
ना वो डॉक्टर की तरह लोगों की जान बचाता हैं,
ना वो पोलिस सेना की तरह रक्षा करता हैं,
ना ही नेता की तरह समाज की सेवा करता हैं

एक बिल्डिंग नहीं बनेगी तो काम चल सकता हैं
एक मशीन नहीं बनेगी तो भी काम चल सकता हैं
एक सॉफ्टवेयर नहीं बनेगा तो भी काम चल सकता हैं

पर वो डॉक्टर जिस स्टेथोस्कोप से धड़कन सुनता हैं वो इंजीनियर बनाते हैं
वो सेना जिस हथियार से लड़ती हैं वो इंजीनियर बना सकते हैं
वो किसान जिस ट्रेक्टर से खेती करता हैं वो इंजीनियर ही बना सकते हैं
वो नेता जिस माइक पर भाषण देते हैं वो भी किसी इंजीनियर ने बनाया होगा

इंजीनियर आने वाले तूफ़ान को बता सकते हैं
इंजीनियर माँ के पेट में पल रहे बच्चे को दिखा सकते हैं
इंजीनिअर आपको चाँद तक भी पहुँचा सकते हैं
इंजीनियर ही राष्ट्र का निर्माण कर सकते हैं

डिग्री जरुरी नहीं, हर वो व्यक्ति जो अपने स्तर पर छोटा या बड़ा निर्माण करे, इंजीनियर बन सकता हैं |

इंजीनियर दिवस की शुभकामनाये  

25 Most famous Bollywood dialogues in IT/Software Industry


Bollywood is in our blood. We always like to correlate the situation of our life with the scene of any movie.  Someone like to act like a hero and someone love to be villain.

Here are the list of 25 famous Bollywood dialogues, I have  replaced the original words in these dialogues with some funny (or not so funny) situations in day-to-day life of IT/Software corporate world.

All hard-wired and soft-wired people, take a fun ride of these humorous responses of your life –

  1. Client/Customer is always rowdy. His requirements are as miserable as rowdy Akshay Kumar’s mind; He don’t mind to do the things that he never mentioned. bkd akshay kumar
  2. And this is how…people would like to introduce their self. Product name is enough to present their achievements in past.bkd - wednesday
  3. Here is the project manager…eagerly asking about deployment dates to his team members.bkd - gabbar-holi
  4. Investigation of some missed defects is not less interesting than this legendary scene of Sholay where Gabbar is ragging Kalia and his mates. Don’t forget to read the whole conversation 🙂bkd- gabbar and kaliya
  5. Here is the responses of QA to his team about missed defects after postmortem is done.bkd - pan singh tomar
  6. This is the story of every project. Developer and QA are like cat and mouse and their fight turn into most interesting drama of software project. Khamosh…Shatrughan Sinha can better describe this in his famous dialogue BKD - shatrughan sinha
  7. Not …drama of QA and developer is not over yet…Mr. Amitabh Bachhan and Shashi Kapoor would also like to contribute in this fight of moral and values.bkd - amitabh and shahsi in deewar
  8. How can we forget our beloved BABUJI and his SANSKARS. Please excuse QA for some time; this is the fight between two developers on integration defect and SANSKAR of BABUJI are perfect to explain this situation –bkd - ham sath sath hain
  9. Lets bring the QA back into action; He is afraid of rejection of defect.bkd - shahid kapur
  10. Here is the angry developer asking QA to not let the manager know about defects.bkd - dharmendra in shole
  11. Here is the developer get irritated by Data base administrator who always missed to deploy/execute the correct SQL scripts.bkd - sonakshi-sinha_640x480_61427872705
  12. This is the most common word of any team lead to his team for the importance of unit testing of code.bkd - shahrukh khan
  13. Vijay Dennanath Chauhan as project manager is terrifying a fresher who is joining IT industry and client call first time.bkd - amitabh-zanjeer-read
  14. Code reviews are always important…Only lover like Rajkumar of Pakeeza can explain it beautifully what the love for defect free code is …bkd - rajkumar in pakeeza
  15. Saudagar Rajkumar is not a lover but a calm boss also. What a cool manner he is discussing the appraisals with his subordinate …bkd - rajkapur in saudagar
  16. Here is USULO wala devloper who is very much obsessed with back-end technologies only and prefer to work on data base and sql scripts instead of UIbkd - dabur seth
  17. Server administration is the backbone of any project. Once he is down; no one can live happily.bkd - jay kant shikre
  18. The Philosophy of Anand Rajesh Khanna is for everyone in the IT industry. Keep the task status updated …Don’t mind about taskbkd - rajeshkhanna
  19. One last from QA and developer. Most painful situation of the developer’s life is Defect is reproducible in QA’s machine not his. So neither he can fix it nor he can close it.bkd - kuchh kuchh hota he
  20. Meanwhile…hidden expression of an engineer with no project (on bench) for HRbkd - gabbar and thakur
  21. Expression of a project manager after successful delivery of projectbkd - mogambo
  22. On the other side…desperation of project manager on failure of projectbkd - ranjhana
  23. No…we are not leaving on-site coordinator. Only Anarkali of Mugal-e-Azam can understand the pain of himbkd - akbar
  24. Here is the most owckward situation in IT industry…An issue reproduces in customer demo…not during internal testingbkd - Salman-Khan-Kick
  25. Last but not least…Reaction of a Hitler project manager on the last day of his team memberbkd - ja simran ja

Don’t forget to mention your views on this article and let us know if we missed any:)

Disclaimer – All images used in this article are copied from Google Search. Author edited and added the text in these images.

How easy is to find washroom in IT COMPANY?


Software engineers are always known for their intelligence. They always tend to find the simpler solution of critical problems. This is the other thing that their simple solution contains complex algorithms and programs. As a software engineer, I must agree on the fact that  software engineers use their brain more than other species in the planet. But my point is not to begin the debate by comparing the intelligence level of IT and non-IT professionals. My question is how IT professionals develop such extra-ordinary skills to do critical task in ordinary way? You must be thinking that their engineering degree program is responsible for this. But believe me; they never implement anything they learned in university courses. The real source of such wisdom is there inside the software company itself. An IT company is like a factory that produce (or rather develop) such intelligent brains.

Here is the practical demo of how IT professionals get trained. No…no…no …I am not going to write anything in C++, java or complex binary languages in the demo; It’s in simple English. Also, I am not giving the demo for any rocket science problem. My problem is very simple in the demo ‘How to find washroom in the software company.’

I must say you would be lucky, if you find the sign board for washroom. Because then you will find it easily without any effort. But it will not give any learning to you. To nourish your brain capabilities, you have to ask this question to someone.

If you ask the question to a person at software engineer or senior engineer levels – “Where is the washroom in company?”, then his/her reply would be – “Go straight from here, there will be lift at the end. Go to ground floor by lift and take right; there is the washroom.”  If the person is on *bench*, then he/she would defiantly assist you to reach exactly at washroom; because person on bench in IT company always looks for the way to pass the time in the office. Else, you have to manage it alone. But in any case, you would reach at the destination in 5 to 10 minutes.

But if you ask the way to reach washroom to a person at team lead or design lead level rather than engineer, then his/her reply would be like this – “behind the admin block”. Now if you again ask him to make it clearer, he will give another hint to you – “behind the admin block and beside the server room.” If you ask him again for further more clarification, he would again provide you more answer like these; as the person at team lead or design lead level always have many solution of a problem in their mind. Anyway…Now you deviate from your main goal (washroom) and put your energy to find admin block or server rooms in office premises. When you find your first goal (admin block/server room) then you start for next level search (washroom). Ultimately, when you reach at washroom, it will take 10 to 20 minutes of your time. But it will surely give you important learning about how to approach a problem, how to think about different creative ways to solve a problem, how to break your solution to simple steps…etc…Etc…

Let’s assume, you have asked the way to washroom to project manager instead of team lead, then his/her reply would be – “talk to someone in maintenance department, they are handling this module.” At first thought, you will think that he is avoiding you. But believe me, it’s a part of his job – deviate a query to correct person. So that in future also, you will directly contact to correct department/person for such queries. He will also suggest you to make a document on it, so that next time when other person asks for washroom, it will help him. Now you make your effort to find maintenance department. When you find maintenance department, you will ask someone about washroom there. Now again, if you ask to lead level person there, his reply would be like behind admin block or near server room like these. And if you ask to any entry-level person, he will guide you at the lift. But in any case, it will take almost 15 to 30 minutes to reach at washroom. Again in this case also, there are big learning’s involved. Team lead’s answer make you learn about how to approach a problem; but project manager’s reply make you learn about how to approach the problem correctly so that it always yields to result.

Now think, you have asked this question to a person at very high level like vice-president or CEO. His/her reply would be like this – “Here is the intranet link of our company; you will find details about all departments including maintenance department at this link, like email-address, location and phone number. Talk with someone in maintenance department, they will surely help you. Also, there is floor plan/maps of building in the same link, there also you can find washroom.”  At first thought, you will think that it is a big mess to explore the intranet, and it’s better to go outside and spread your dirt at empty open place. But believe me, if you do this, you will miss the big learning – ‘think bigger.’ If you follow his/her approach, you will explore the link and try to find maintenance department there. And if you are really very good fellow, you will try to understand the floor plan also. Then you contact to maintenance department via email or instant messaging or direct phone call. Again, if you talk with lead there, he will make you find admin block or server room. And if you talk with initial level person, he will lead you to the lift. But in any case, it will take almost 30 to 45 minutes to find washroom. However as I said, there is big learning of think bigger in this approach. Lead and project manager were only targeting just the problem and its solution, but VP/CEO looks it more than just a problem and solution.  They make you learn business, technology, domain, verticals (intranet access and exploration, web-based applications, CAD floor plan, Google maps, understanding company structure, communication mediums etc…Etc…)

So this was RANCHO’s short demo of a very simple problem and its solution by IT professionals at different levels. This is how people at various levels in IT Company think about a problem and solutions. And this is how your skills developed when you work with them.  At end, I would only suggest you to finish all your washroom tasks at home before visiting a software industry, unless you have strong power to hold-off and killing thirst to learn something…

*On bench* – This is the general term used in software industry for the people who don’t have any work in hand. They preserved for future upcoming projects.

Hell of IT Industry


ना सुकून हैं, ना शोहरत हैं,
जो मिली, वो बस थोड़ी सी दौलत हैं !
और जले हैं अरमाँ जिसमे धू-धू कर,
ज़िन्दगी उसी राख़ की रौनक हैं !!

एक पल की ज़िन्दगी में
कितनी ज्यादा मेहनत हैं!
जिंदा हैं फिर भी कैसे मर-मरकर
इसी बात की हमें हैरत हैं!

वक़्त नहीं हैं रुकने का,
वक़्त नहीं हैं सोने का,
काम दोनों समय में करने का,
भारत का और अमरीका का !

फ्लैट मोनिटर में सिमटी अपनी दुनिया,
पार्टी पिकनिक सब बेकार की बतिया ,
चौबीस घंटे बस एक ही काम,
ऑफिस, काम और क्लाइंट काल !

भूल गए अब यार और मस्ती,
याद नहीं अपना घर और बस्ती,
साबुन के टुकडे सी हैं अपनी हस्ती,
बड़ती तोंद पर कमर हे झुकती !

ऊँची-ऊँची इमारते हैं, केवल कांच पत्थरो की,
काम करते जानवर जिसमे, जरूरत नहीं इंसानों की,
कुत्ते कमाते हड्डी यहाँ, भर-भर कर भौकने की,
और गधे काटते घास यहाँ, मर-मर कर काम करने की !

ना सुकून हैं, ना शोहरत हैं,
जो मिली, वो बस थोड़ी सी दौलत हैं !
और जले हैं अरमाँ जिसमे धू-धू कर,
ज़िन्दगी उसी राख़ की रौनक हैं !!

 

 

 

गले में पट्टा पहने, जैसे कोई कुत्ता
आँखों में ऐनक मने, आईटी का अँधा
की बोर्ड पर ऊँगली तोड़े, लगे कोई बन्दर
माउस से तमाशे करे, दिखे पूरा जोकर

बग को जो डवेलप करे, बनता वो डेवलेपर
डेवलेपर को जो टेस्ट करे, होता हे वो टेस्टर
बिना बात जो ज्ञान बांटे, बन जाता मेनेजर
और इन सबको जो कष्ट दे, वो हैं सबका बाप कष्टमर